Subpersonalities
- In association with your body, feelings, mind, thoughts and beliefs, you also have numerous aspects or parts of yourself that we sometimes call ‘subpersonalities’. It can be very helpful to you if you identify at least some of them and begin to see how they cooperate and work together or how they are in conflict with each other.
Who am I?
If you ask yourself repeatedly, “Who am I?” for a few minutes you can come up with a number of these aspects like:
I am a child of these parents.
I am a cook for myself and my family.
I am a helper.
I am a critic.
I am a person who wants and desires.
I am a healer.
I am a trustworthy person.
I am a friend.
I am a driver – I drive a car.
I am a judge.
I am a soul in a physical body experiencing life on earth.
I am a rescuer.
I am a parent of these children.
I am a partner
Desires, Strengths & Vulnerabilities
There are many more aspects of yourself that you might identify and each of these parts of yourself has its own desires and strengths and vulnerabilities. For instance, the helper in you might wish to help people and the time may come when it might have to choose between helping others and helping yourself when you recognise that you have limitations to your energy and if you spend too much energy on others then you may be too exhausted to fulfil your own responsibilities. This is why as good as it is to be of help to others, it is equally important to have boundaries so that you take care of yourself and your energy.
There are also many parts of yourself that you may not see in your initial questioning and you may learn about later. For instance you may not think of yourself as an angry person when at some point someone does something to you that you consider dishonest or hurtful and you find yourself erupting in anger and even if you do not share that anger with anyone, it can come as quite a shock to see that you are actually angry in certain circumstances and then you might have to learn how to manage your anger and express it in a healthy way.
Being aware of various parts of yourself enables you to be more compassionate with yourself when they are in conflict with each other. For instance, you may have an obligation to take part in a family event that you really do not want to attend at all but for many reasons it may be important for you to do so. At such times, it is helpful if you can make a choice to attend because that feels like the right thing to do and you can talk nicely and soothe the part of you who really wants to say no to that event.
It works nicely, for instance, if the part of you who is a cook cooperates with the helper in you when a friend is ill and you choose to make soup and take it to your friend. Understanding that you have various parts of yourselves may enable you to be more compassionate with yourself and them.